Surprise! And 3 more Pieces of Heart

Surprise! Did you miss me?! I hope so!

So I found a good use for this bliggity bloggity blog of mine. Not only does it get to be a log of me and my video game pleasures, it's also going to be the home for my Sims 3 Story/Challenge.

What do I mean by challenge? Well, as a fun thing to do with The Sims, because, let's face it, after so long, you get bored of watching your Sims go to work everyday. So the gaming community presents challenges to keep us Simmers occupied.

My challenge? The 100-Baby challenge. It's very much possible to do in Sims-world. So far I believe I'm at...17? so...i'm 17% done. A lot of the fun I've been having is dealing with the mulitple love triangles, and just the oddities of life.

I had nothing to do with this shot. This is all my Sims. My Sim in question, Roxanne, was pregnant during a birthday party for her second set of triplets (she looks amazing for having had so many kids), and her water broke. And when Mom's water breaks, everyone freaks out. It just so happened that this occured at two big life moments. It's also the funniest thing that's ever occured to me while playing, so I'm glad I've got a record of it. Seriously, Carl's face is hilarious.

 

So, yes. In a few days, expect a new tab and a new page and a new adventure!

 

Speaking of adventures, I dusted off Skyward Sword today, and began setting out after my 4 missing pieces of heart (by the end of the game, which I'm very close to, you need to have 20 hearts. I've only got 19). Three of the pieces in question are only attainable by winning mini-games *groan of disgust* while the fourth is a piece in a dungeon I completely overlooked. Thank heavens for the internet, otherwise I would have been trapsing all over Hyrule (or whatever it's called) for hours checking all the dungeons again.

 

As another adventure note, I also started playing New Super Mario Bros Wii, so now I'm rockin' the Mushroom Kingdom as well. Except they make those Star Coins so freakin' hard to find! I've found a few...but I'm about to venture into unknown territory. At least I learned how to save my stupid game...had to start all over on my adventure because I didn't save properly. Who makes a game where your save spots are only at the mini-bosses?! What the heck, Nintendo?

One Last Post?

Since my classes are ending, that means the reason I need to update this blog is also ending. But part of me doesn't want to give up on this. I've had a lot of fun geeking out to no one in particular, and I've been keeping an eye on my writing, watching it improve (or at least, what I consider to be an improvment). I've slowly gotten more comfortable sharing my doodles with the internet, and I hope that I'll become a better artist and be able to webcomic with the big boys.

For now, though, I just need to decide what to do with this blog...do I keep it? Scrap it? I'm not really sure at the moment.

For any of my readers out there (I know you're out there!) what do you think?

Save and Quit?                               Continue?

Are you sure you want to quit?

Yes!                           No!

Never doing that again

So last night I pulled my first real "all-nighter" to finish a project for a class. At around 6 this morning, i decided to sleep for an hour to somewhat offset my tiredness. Yeah, no, I woke up at 9:36. My class starts at 9:30. I live 10 minutes(ish) from campus. and I still had to get ready.

I've often wondered how video game people can just run around all over their world and never get tired. The only time Mario sleeps is if you leave him alone long enough. Link just shuffles around and stretches, Sora doesn't even have an idle animation, I don't think. Yet these guys go MONTHS without sleeping (except in Skyward Sword. It's hilarious where Link can sleep in that game) or any type of rest. They run everywhere, and they never stop for a break.

I can barely function on a lack of sleep, and these guys haven't slept in forever. Whatever, I gotta go get some sleep. Nap time.

Dear Dad

Dear Dad, I know you worry about me and my fandoms. And I can understand why. After all, I don't want to lose my grip on my sanity either. But the problem is, Dad, is that I owe all these people something.

In high school, I owed my life to video games. They saved me from finding other, more destructive forms of escape. I hid how hard I was hurting from you and Mom pretty well. But I was desperate, Dad. Desperate for someone, anyone, to care about me. So that's why they're a permanent part of me now, better than a scar, but less than a tattoo. Which I don't want anyways. So I owe them the adventures we went on together, and I need to share them with the world.

Ponies came to me when my own friendships were suffering. I learned what my friendships should be, and seeing how drastically wrong they were at the time. Ponies brought me a friend, one that is irreplacable, and I owe them the same Loyalty they emphasize in the show. Ponies have been a beacon I can turn to when my times get dark. I can't tell you how many times Smile has made my crappy day just a little bit better.

Lindsey came to me last year, and in that year, she has become a huge inspiration to me, for me. She emulates so many positive qualities that we share...and I think about how I'm not sharing them. How I'm too worried that others won't like what I have to offer. How daring she is, how willing to take risks she is. Something I know I need to do more of. The funk I got in over the summer was helped a little by her music, but I needed to meet her, to watch her live, to hear her play, just for me, to snap me out of that funk. She gave me back my motivation. Who knows where I could have ended up if I hadn't seen her? I know I'd be living with the regret that I missed the chance to see her live. I owe her something, Dad. I have to pay her back for what she did for me. She saved me.

Dad, you may not understand how I feel about all my fandoms. And that's okay. You don't have to. But I do want you to understand that I owe all these people, real and fake, something, because they saved my life. They brought me out the darkness. They have kept me from straying further into it, into a place where I might not be the same person anymore. I consider all these people my friends, even if they're not real. While you may not have been there, they were there during those times when I felt alone. They provided a safe place where I didn't have to deal with Mom potentially dying. I could be myself. And that was the greatest gift I was given by them.

And I'm going to forever be indebited to them for saving my life. But I'm okay with that debt. It's high time I started paying it back. Without all these people, Dad, you wouldn't have...me.

Doodle Palooza! Part 1

I realized that I haven't been a very good doodle sharer. Which is half of the reason this blog even exists, right?! So, without further ado, I present to you some of my favorite doodles of this past semester! I'll pick some of my favorites from each of my notebooks! (I have one for each class. And a permanent backpack notebook that serves as my idea log....usually.)

Here's hoping the internet at my partment wants to work because it tends to wuss out whenever it gets stormy. Stupid internet...:P Hooray! Internet actually wants to be tough!

Aaaand my internet is being super stupid and won't let me upload photos. So, for now, just IMAGINE all the cool doodles I'm going to do. And hopefully I'll be able to edit this and get it fixed up nice for you guys.

Murphy's law is in full force right now. Stupid Murphy.

AND WE HAVE COOPERATION FROM THE INTERNET! LET THE DOODLES BEGIN!

So this was the first day in Grammar class that I doodled. I had just seen the Avengers a few days before (and I have an EPIC crossover story based on that movie) so I was a bit on an Avenging high. Also, I forgot how to draw the Master Sword and forgot that Sora's right handed. My human version of Twilight Sparkle got a lot bigger than I intended it to, but I'm okay with that.

Last year, I was playing Kingdom Hearts Re: Chain of Memories. Vexen struck me as someone (or, Nobody, rather) who would be the resident mad scientist, so he appeared on every page in the margins spouting Science! in my Stats notebook. Luckily, I had another science class, so I could still use Vexen. Vexen helped me survive Stats. I would have died of boredom otherwise.

Here's Vexen and Axel, though Vexen isn't too pleased he has to share his margin. Also, Vexen's science has kind of deteriorated into my fan-induced next generation. He's not happy about that either.

This is how I feel sometimes.

First, I was extremely tired when I began doodling this in class (my real life friend is to your left). But I love my tired, holy-crap-can-I-sleep face. Anyways, in class, there has been this annoying whining noise, like that of a small circular buzzsaw. Either way, it's annoying. Also, I was snacking on Goldfish that day.

The noise came back on this day, and I had had enough. However, by exploding the piping where the noise had to be coming from, I also cut the power for the building. Oops. It's a good thing I don't actually have magic. I might break a lot of things otherwise.

I just love drawing T_T faces for some odd reason. And if you can't tell what happened, Riku and Roxas dumped water on Sora.

This is one of those times where I have the same realization as my characters. In this case, Peach was telling Mario and Luigi how shopping is kind of like dressing up. The moment I realized this, so did Mario and Luigi. I had to sketch out this comic after that. I'm not a girl who particularly likes shopping. I have about a 2 hour window where I'll enjoy myself. After that, I'm done. As I've gotten older, I see the social appeal of it. But there comes a point where it's like, "Why are you trying that on if you're not going to buy it?" Which is the question Luigi asks Daisy and Peach. Which led to our shared epiphany.

 

This is one of those moments where a made-up universe made more sense to me than my own. This is also me attempting the Y U No meme. It's also a good doodle of me attempting the slumped shoulders look. And this is Avatar: The Last Airbender/Legend of Korra-verse, not James Cameron's giant elf/Smurf-fest.

I'll Take It

So this was in my inbox last night. I get a free song download. First time I've ever gotten anything like this, and I'm gonna take it! Whoo! I love being a nerd!

With finals week looming ever closer, I'm kind of scrambling for topics to post about. I guess I could start taking photos of all my doodles and start having an end of year bash type thing...

I don't know. What do  you guys think? No, seriously, what do you think? I've been so bad at this whole-

NEW TOPIC BORN OF SUDDEN REMEMBRANCE!

So our English Honors society is having a Harry Potter Party tonight. Guess who's going? Guess who's going to pull of the best Hermione ever? Oh yeah, it's gonna be awesome tonight. I'm excited, are you excited?

And now I'm lapsing into Pinkie Pie quotes.

Today's alternate title: Stream of Conciousness.

This is Stuck in My Head

Back to the daily grind of school...only it's not quite so daily anymore because we have T-Minus two weeks until finals week! My face is similar to that of the candy apple, popcorn and soda in today's song.

I was just talking to a fellow classmate about my doodles, and I realized that I have been a very bad poster of all things doodle related. Probably because I'm still getting comfortable with the idea of sharing my artwork on the internet. The internet can be a cruel place, and I'm not in the mood to have people tell me my artwork sucks. Which is true, but still, it's not very nice.

So, hopefully I'll start posting some more of my doodles as time goes by, because that may be what I have to do seeing as I have projects and finals and all this crap to get ready for. Agh! Where did the semester go?! Why is time moving so quickly? Panic!

*insert random picture here of me running around like a chicken with its head cut off*

Well, time to prepare to face the dragon that is finals week!

If I can get through the fallout of the emotional bomb Dad dropped on me, that is...

Thanksgiving Week: Magic

I love Christmas decorations. I love Christmas Trees and Christmas garlands. I love ALL OF IT. Probably because of the way we bring a little extra light in our homes. I love the way everything looks right after it snows. There's something so peaceful about it. Like everyone's homes becomes their own personal, livable gingerbread houses.

I love all the lights, especially at Temple Square.

Probably because this is the closest thing I'll ever get to actual magic. And I love magic.

Thanksgiving: Laughter and Nerf Guns

On this day, when many are thankful for all the things they have, I'm thankful for my family, and for all the laughs we share together. Today, on my dad's side of the family, we spent a nice lunch together and then we went to go see Life of Pi. Both the book and the movie are amazing, though its not one for the kiddies. Read the book first. Always read the book.

After our voyage to the movies, we went home and played the Grab Game. We used to do this on Christmas Eve. My family can get a little...spirited at this game. So much so, that we've moved it to its own separate night, and now we take turns and after three steals, the item is locked and no one else can have it. We also don't steal from the kids, as a general rule of thumb. Tonight, though, we brought it back. Back to the old ways of frantic dice rolling, pointing, shouting, exclaimations of joy and despair, (and fiendish glee), and the frantic moment of indecision where you can't remember who has the Star Wars cups (Dad's side of the family is the more nerdy side. We have a lot of fun..). The nice part is though, once the final item has been stolen and the lightning round is over, we end up trading a lot of the goods around.

My main item of the night that nobody stole from me?

Aww, yeah. Who's got a Nerf gun? I do. Who's playing HvZ next semester? I am.

Also, I'm wearing my "tunic" ^_^

 

It goes without saying that I'm seriously happy with my haul. I feel like a sniper. Or maybe more Riza Hawkeye from FMA. (Fullmetal Alchemist, for those of you not up on your abreviations)

 

I'm grateful to be in a family that loves to laugh. That makes me laugh. Where our sense of humor just line up beautifully, and we can start lapsing into character voices and start making up stuff. Where we play video games with each other and not leave the room in a hissy fit.

 

And I'm thankful that I'm not standing in a line that's wrapping around Target behind some smoker dude. Black Friday Shopping is ridiculous. And yet I've put it on my bucket list...

Thanksgiving Week: Mom and Christmas Music

Christmas music always makes me feel like a kid, peering out the windows, watching the snow fall through the blinds. It always reminds me of my mother in the kitchen, making something to eat. It reminds me of pretending to ice skate in my socks on our linoleum floor to the Christmas music.

I'm especially thankful for having a mother who knew how to sew. I have multiple costumes and formal dresses made just for me. The best part is knowing that no one else will ever have what I have. It's especially nice when you're trying to find your midnight showing costume, and you have options to choose from.

I miss my mom. She was my emotional cheerleader, and, not that my dad isn't good at being there for me, but he doesn't understand emotions the way a woman does, the way your mother does. But I'm thankful for the deep impact she's made on my life. For the things that I want to instill in my children.

Christmas music just has this way of bringing back childhood memories while at the same time, bringing people together. Those memories are things I cherish, and I love looking back on them.

Maybe that's why I'm the obnoxious person playing Christmas music before Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving Week: Bed

My bed. This thing has seen it all. My good days, my bad days, my good nights, my bad nights. it's kept me warm when the weather is freezing cold, and too hot in the summer. I like sleeping with my layers.

But I'm especially grateful that tonight, it's my own bed. In my own room, in my house. No roommates coming up the stairs, or getting ready for bed. Just me, myself and I. And the crazy people who live in my head, but they don't really count that much, do they?

My room hasn't changed too much since I was about...five. I still have my bunny wallpaper, my quilt my grandma gave me when I was born hanging on the wall. The cross-sitched picture is currently MIA, but I have a hunch where it could be. The only things that have changed are the addtion of my chair, which is currently holding clothes and another quilt, my bedspread, though the orginal is just underneath my comforter, the big pink rug that I probably should vacuum soon, my endtable replacing my bench one, though that's at the foot of my bed, and the moving out of the Barbie house. Keep in mind, this is just a summarization of the past 20 years I've been in this room. Oh, forgot to mention replaced the crib full of my stuffed animals with my sister's dresser.

But I like my room the way it is. It's reflective of who I am: trying to grow up while holding on to childhood.

Maybe my mom should have let me paint my room pink when I wanted to. Then I might be more open to changing my bedroom now.

Thanksgiving Week: Dream Chasers

Today I'm thankful for people who go out and chase their dreams. People who go out and chase their dreams, and end up acheiving them. I've gushed about Lindsey Stirling before, so you know how I feel about her. But I'm more grateful for her success at her own personal dreams. She's doing what she loves, and she's loving every second of it. And for that, I'm grateful, because for me, it means anyone, even dorky nerd girls, can get their dream if they chase after it hard enough. I'm sharing a Lindsey Original today, Transcendence. For Lindsey, it means completely overcoming something and making your trials a part of who you are. For me, it means breaking away from the mental boundaries I keep putting on myself and letting my real self shine.

Another artist I'm proud of/thankful for is (are?) The Piano Guys. Nothing cooler than a bunch of dads from Utah forming a band and making amazing music videos that have garnered millions of views on Youtube. How cool is that? And now, they've joined with Sony so they can make MORE money! They said on their videos that they wanted this to be their full-time job. And now it is! If that's not a sign they love what they do, I don't know what is!

Dream Chasers, keep on doing what you do. You help the rest of us realize we have a dream to chase after too. And if we don't give up on that dream, we can acheive it.



This calls for a song from Tangled!

Thanksgiving Week: The End

I'm so punny.

Seeing as I'm going to have tons of time this week, I'd thought I'd share some of the things I'm grateful for with you all week long. Granted, it's going to have a bit of a nerdy spin on it, for most of the posts, but I do want to share my gratitude with the world.

Who would have thought being nerdy would make you grateful? I sure didn't.

Today I'm grateful for the end. I can already hear you through the internet: "What?" Allow me to explain. I'm grateful for the end of the journeys that I've embarked upon, where everything resolves itself, when everything is made right, when, at last, the hero gets to go home and get his reward. Sometimes, the ending may mean a new beginning, where they have to rebuild from all the bad things that have happened. Or, it just may mean a new chapter in their lives. But the end is what everyone strives for in the game. That last boss, that last dungeon, that last star...once we get it, the story is truly complete.

There's always something satisfying about seeing the words, "The End" crawl up after the credits have rolled. Because inside I think, I earned that. I earned that ending. Me, a dorky girl who is crushing big time on fake people, beat Ganondorf, defeated Bowser (again), saved all the worlds. Me, who could never do anything like that in real life, earned a "The End," and a heavily implied, "And the lived happily ever after." Until the sequel that is.

In the end (ha!), the ending is where it all comes together. Where everything you worked for, that I worked for, comes together to make a beautiful whole. And the best part is knowing that you did it.

Midnight Showing of The Hobbit: Last Call!

I don't know about you guys, but I just about died when I saw this last year. Middle Earth is coming back, baby! And I will be there at midnight, in costume. The fates have aligned; my last final is on Thurdsay, which means I'm getting the heck out of dodge the second its over and going home and dressing up and staying up until 4 (ish) watching this movie.

I've invited my friends, but I've gotten a lukewarm response to it. Today is the last call, because I'm not going to the 12:30 showing. I'm going to the freakin' midnight showing. And I want to celebrate this moment with my friends.


A certain other film series wrapped up its finale last night/today. All I can say is Halleujah! No more sparkly vampires angsting around anymore.

Midnight showings are among my favorite things. After experiencing the end of the Harry Potter francise (*sob!*) at midnight, I'm determined to not miss anymore midnight showing experiences. It was so fun to be in a theater where it was okay to yell and cheer, to laugh out loud, and not have to obey the normal rules of theater etiquette. It's like a big, huge nerdy gathering, and we all get to share in the moment.

Fun fact: I went to a special premiere of Order of the Phoenix, I got to see it at 8 o'clock instead of at midnight. My sister, brother-in-law, and I tormented the midnighters with false quotes: "I can't believe Voldemort is Harry's father!"

I just realized, my family is full of nerds. But I love them!


This, because I just can't be mad while listening to it, and it's gorgeous music...


Must...resist...urge...to...post...Lindsey...Stirling...cover...

You Know You're a Fan When...

...you begin composing an epic length piece of fanfiction.

As a fun little factoid about me, I'm currently working on a My Little Pony fanfiction. On my laptop, it is currently 35 pages. I started working on it in April, just after Season 2 ended. I begun posting it in the summer. It's taken some time for traffic and such to pick up, but I know I've got fans. I do need to keep working on it, though, before Season 3 completely trashes all my current theories!

However, Ponies has been side-swiped by a project I didn't see coming at all. About a week ago, I read a Lindsey Stirling (Yeah, I'm one of those fans) fanfiction. It places my favorite violinist in a fantasy setting, where she has to gain back her kingdom from a wicked cult that has declared war on all music. I wanted in on this universe, so I joined the fanfiction's group and made a character.

I decided to help the author out by offering myself as an editor. After all, I'm an English Major, I should use all these skill I have somehow. Less than 24 hours after joining this group, I was promoted to author. My ideas have been implimented to the story, and I love it.

http://stirlantis.wordpress.com/
You can check out my current fanficton project here. I wrote the ending of chapter 2, most of chapter 3, and sporadically throughout chapter 4.

What I love most is how this is making me realize how much I really love writing. I love how I'm meeting people with similar interests, how I can talk to them about nerdy things like plot, character arcs, establishing the bad guys as a serious threat, etc. I'm learning to love everything about the writing process, and that's going to help my own personal writing projects.

Oh, if you want to check out my Pony fic, (and a Kingdom Hearts one)
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3487495/fairiegirl2992
These are all my stories. There will probably be more in the future.

It's safe to say I'm a dedicated fan. And I love it.

Almost to a Million

You poor people. You have to deal with my nerdy fangirlism. Also, Christmas music because I'm the annoying person who plays Christmas music in November.

Anyways, this lucky lady is almost to one million subscribers on Youtube! I remember when it was just 250,000! That was when I joined a year ago! Pretty crazy to see how popular she's become in the past year. I really think Crystallize put her on the map, though the Zelda Medly helped too I bet.

So in honor of Lindsey reaching this amazing milestone, the Stirlingites (Lindsey's official fan group on Facebook) are putting together a little something just for her. And since half of it was my idea, I kind of have to participate now. But I don't care. I'm actually kind of excited for this. Let the crazy fandoming begin!

Also, ponies was FREAKIN' AWESOME! And it's proof you don't have to dumb down children's TV shows for it to be "acceptable." Kids grasp more than you think. So thank heavens for good writers who understand that.

Oh, and I'm in the final arc of Brotherhood. The past episodes have all been ONE DAY. Holy crap Amnestris is having a busy day! Can't wait to see how it ends.

Also Mario Kart 64. Hello, Childhood, I've missed you.

Yeah, I've had a productive nerdy weekend.

PONIES!

I use this every chance I get. Do you know what this means? No?

Tomorrow is the Season 3 premiere of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic! I'm so stoked! And my friend and I are gonna celebrate in style. I'm going to make a treat for us to munch on while we watch Season 3. We're just gonna have to avoid the massive spoilers that will inevitibly be in the comments.

I think it's safe to say that my pony obsession (but that makes it sound so bad) is to the point where I'm going to need to invest in some merchandise. Namely, a Pinkie Pie pony. I mean, I'm already writing a massive fanfiction based on Princess Celestia and Luna's adventures over a thousand years ago. How much more dedicated can you get?

...Well I still have to go to a convention. And post some form of Pony art. And/or create a massively popular askblog on Tumblr.

Ah well. I'm just happy for this weekend when I get to let a little friendship and magic enter into my life.


Guess which pony is my favorite? (No going back and reading previous pony posts!)

Fullmetal Alchemist

So if you ever want to hear a great story about brotherhood, sacrifice, and general all around awesome, look no further than Fullmetal Alchemist. Or Brotherhood, the second series that follows the manga of FMA rather than the first anime, which took an important plot point and ran with it, creating its own story. Both are extremely well done, but I'm liking Brotherhood a lot more, just for the sheer amount of plot twists going on. It's freaky.

This version is much darker than the first series, but I like it. There are so many things that are just INSANELY messed up that...why would you want to even go to this world? Oh that's right, we've got great characters that just make this series.

I adore the main characters, Edward and Alphonse (Al), Elric. Their relationship is just so good. It's how all brothers should be. They'll do anything for each other, and they know what the other is thinking just by looking at each other. That is dedication and trust right there.

Aside from Ed's awesome older brother protection sense, Edward is such a great character. His biggest pet peeves are being called short, and people mistaking his brother for him. Because, you see, Al is a suit of armor, and is full of metal...but Edward is not. He just has automail prosthetics.

Okay, I'm going to have to explain: When Ed and Al were young, they lost their mother. They decided to use alchemy to bring her back from the dead. However, this practice is one of the taboos, THE taboo, in alchemy. Edward lost his leg, while Al lost his body, and it still didn't bring their mother back. To save Al, Edward bound Al's soul to a suit of armor, losing his arm in the process. Al then took Edward, who was bleeding to death, to their friend Winry's to save Ed.

So yeah, that's the dramatic part (and that's not even half of it). Edward tends to get himself into really funny situtations though.

Okay, I'm starting to ramble so I'll conclude: Go watch Fullmetal Alchemist. And then go watch Brotherhood. So awesome.

Music..right, music.

This is one of those songs where I stopped playing and started listening.

Anyways, this Monday I'm very tired and a little out of it right now. Probably because I stayed up until 2 working on homework. *glares at past Nessa* While I'm happy my homework got done, I need to remember that I'm one of those people that likes sleep, and I need it to function properly.

Did you know that this month is NaNoWriMo? Or, National Novel Writing Month? Basically, starting November 1, you crank out a novel. You don't edit or anything. You just write. I've been meaning to start my project for this year, but life likes to keep getting in the way, but I will start it before it's too late! I mean, I just have to get to 50,000 words by the end of the month, right? I can do that...hopefully.

On a crazed-fan-of Lindsey Stirling note, she just released her Assassin's Creed 3 video, but I can't listen to it/share it yet because I'm at the writing lab and the sound is muted on all the computers, and as awesome as she is, I don't think people will appreciate me blasting my music. Especially since I could throw people out of their groove. And you don't do that.

You Can't Fandom Alone

It was earlier this week I decided to take a huge step in my overwhelming Lindsey Stirling love, and I joined the official fan group on Facebook. Needless to say, it's been a lot of fun having like-minded individuals around to talk about all things Lindsey.

But I've also discovered it's impossible to enjoy a show unless you have someone who enjoys it as much as you do. This can be as simple as having someone go, "You watch the latest episode of Once Upon a Time?" and you freaking out with joy/rage/wonder at the show with them, or having a friend you watch all your shows with. When you're alone...you can't talk about anything, you just have to let all your emotions get bottled up so that when the next episode airs, you're practically dying because it's been a week since your last fix of the show.

Either way, a show becomes much more enjoyable when you have friends to enjoy it with you. The same is true for gaming. I think that's why I tend to spaz out when I find people with similar interests as me, because I have so much pent-up love and admiration for the game/show/person, that when someone else says they like it too, I instantly latch onto them, and they are my new best friend.

...I now need to draw that old guy from Legend of Zelda saying, "It's dangerous to go alone: take this!" and he holds up a bunch of friends. Because it really is a lot easier to fandom with friends than to fandom on your own.

Halloween: Taking it to the Next Level

Guys....

Okay, it's hard to read but...LINDSEY STIRLING TALKED TO ME ON THE INTERNET! Okay...I am breathing again. And yes, I'm going to respond to this. I just had to get a screenshot for proof of this awesome event.

So, what am I being this year for the illustrious day of All Hallow's Eve? Take 3 guesses. And here's a clue: imitation is the sincerest form of flattery....

Yep! I'm Lindsey Stirling, without a violin because I don't know anyone who has one to borrow. And I don't think I could draw a good enough violin to cover for my severe lack of violin.
This is my first time "cosplaying" as anyone, and I think I did a pretty good job. I would have done Lindsey's signature peacock, but I lack the proper layers for that awesome of hair.

Also, I don't know when I'll get my version of Moon Trance done (hopefully today, before Halloween's over!), but I'll give you guys some teasers!

So here we have me (in a proper Lindsey Stirling costume no less) leading my merry band of people into the woods. Obviously, Luigi is freaking out at the random dude filling in a grave, and everyone else is rather worn of his attitude. To the far right, a cloaked figure watches...

Here you can see a better shot of our cloaked figure. This is where the violin comes in, in full, and naturally, me being a fairy and all, I'm much more susceptible to magical things...like music. To the right, I drop my violin prop and Link looks on in worry. He knows me well enough to know something  is wrong.

Can you imagine one of your good friends turning around to face you with completely blank eyes, that's the kind of look i'm going for here. Link is obviously shocked. The little pencil note says that personality is still intact. Meaning I'm still very much there...

But the music is calling to me, and I have to go. The shot to the right...I can see it so clearly. A girl standing in the middle of a path, full moon shining down on her as the woods loom ominously around.

I switched to pencil here, because pencil I can fix if I screw up. And the mysterious cloaked figure is none other than Lindsey! I made a costume based off her Phantom of the Opera video. The girl on the right, in the dark dress, is my human version of Princess Luna from Friendship is Magic. You can't have a Moon party without the Moon Princess, now can you?

This is later on in the piece, when the violin is being kind of lyrical. Lindsey is trying to charm Zelda, Princess Celestia, Samus and Twilight, the last four who are (somehow) resisting her musical prowess. I mostly just love Lindsey's frustrated expression in this. Also, I changed her costume because she couldn't rock out in that big fancy gown I had her in.

Here, Lindsey notices the people who are resisting (gotta love that label). I love how, even though I'm not the best artist out there, I can still pull off expressions like the one Lindsey has on. The reason these four are resisisting: I'm highlighting their responsible-streak that they feel needs to go on. Also, I consider these four the smartest (in different ways) of my characters. Zelda and Celestia both are wise princesses; Twilight is a genius, and Samus is just stubborn like that.

 

Hopefully I'll get the full thing sketched out before today's over, and I'll probably make a video so my pictures and their actions sync with the music. Agh! Exciting day for me! Happy Halloween!

 

I'll walk you home....
Me:OKAY! :D

 



It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like HALLOWEEN!

Yes, I'm slightly obessed with her. And, yes, this is Thriller-esque.

However, I'm working on my own version of this (mostly a bunch of doodles that, if I had any talent in animating, I could call them a storyboard, but I lack such skills so it's just doodles synced with the music) and I'll probably post that soon-ish. This song gave me such a concrete image of what happened that Lindsey's version kind of disappointed me. (Probably because I repeated it so much it broke my mp3 player multiple times) But hey, she's the creator. She gets to do what she feels is best for her music.

Anyways, let the countdown to All Hallow's Eve begin! I'm slowly becoming more and more of a Halloween fan the older I get. Maybe my inner child is crying out for starving it of candy for the past five years. Wow. I feel really old just thinking about how many Trick-or-Treating sessions I've missed.

My parents didn't approve of teenagers Trick-or-Treating, and I see why. If a bunch of big kids take all the candy, what's left for the little kids? But there's something so rewarding about going from house to house and getting a bucket full of candy. And then there's the weeks after where you get to devour said candy at your own leisure. It's great!

Being a nerd as well, you start to see the exciting aspect of the scary. After all, you can't have a world that's perfectly sunshine and rainbows. You've got to have the dark and scary stuff. Which always leads to That One Level/Dungeon. The one where when you turn the lights off to go to bed, you're positive that the boss you just killed is lurking right under your bed to exact his revenge on your weak, non-heroic self.


I'll just leave this here for you guys...pleasant dreams....

Lethargy

So, this week I was graced with a pretty severe case of hives. Don't worry, I was breathing and well the whole time...just minus giant red, raised, welts all over my body that itched like no one's business. It was really bad because all I wanted to do was rest so I could focus on getting rid of them so I could get better. Let's just say that, nope, that wasn't the case. Thankfully, yesterday and today have been spent doing as little of anything productive as possible. No seriously, I spent most of today just sleeping and I have no idea why. (I blame the allergy meds) I think now I'm on the upswing of this, and I can resume normal school activity and attendence without feeling like I'm sort of freak with red itchy splotches on my hands.

Yeah, this past week I skipped so much class it's kind of not funny. This week, I'll make it up. Yay.

I Should be British

I was talking to my roommate the other day, and it dawned on me that British people are extremely creative. Don't know what I'm talking about? Let's see...

• Harry Potter
• Doctor Who
• Lord of the Rings
• Chronicles of Narnia
• Shakespeare
• Peter Pan
• Alice in Wonderland
• The Beatles

Just to name a few. These books/shows/band have been super influential in fantasy aspects (and musical things) all around the world. I mean, name a recent fantasy series that doesn't have dwarves, elves or some form of a fantastic creature in it. And it all comes from Britain.

Maybe I should move over there and then I'll be influential! Yay!

I solemly swear I am up to no good

Yup! It's that time again! Time for more random nerdiness. Obviously, today's theme is Harry Potter!

This is one of the best book series I've ever read. I can't recall reading other series that made me laugh out loud, tear up, and keep me reading because I have to know what happens next.

I didn't start out with Sorcerer's Stone. I starte with Goblet of Fire. Which in some ways was better than others. GoF was the half-way point of the series, and it introduced Voldemort as a serious threat. But I was confused as all get out about somethings. Like why Sirius was called Snuffles; or why he was on the run, for that matter. I had no idea what Quidditch was, and a whole sort of other things. So I had to go back to the first three books to answer my questions. And then, I was hooked on Harry Potter.

A good friend of mine suggested I share this, since it's nerdy and all and totally hilarious. This is a ABC poem I wrote waaay back my senior year in high school.

The Last Chapter

ABC Poetry

 

As Harry walks

Back into the forest, I

Clutch my book

Dearly, begging him not to.

Everything has led to this moment in the

Forest; I wait, maybe

Grawp will come.

“Harry,”

I whisper through the pages,

“Just wait a minute.” But he can’t so many  have been

Killed, fighting for freedom.

Leaving everything he loves, he

Marches into the wood,

Not knowing the final ending

Of his story.

“Please,” I beg. “Let Harry be okay.”

Quietly, the Death Eaters plan genocide.

Rowling is a genius.

She’s got me, completely ensnared at Hogwarts.

Too soon, Harry makes his last stand.

Understanding it must happen, I think of the

Various betrayals that brought Harry

Where he is now.

Xenophilus, Quirrell, Wormtail, Draco, Snape.

Yawning, I force myself to close the book, seeing Harry’s

Z-shaped scar, peek between his hair.

 

And now, the seven part saga has reached its end.

Mischeif Managed.

Inspiration

It's fall break, and I'm home for this lovely little break. I was contemplating what to talk about since I'm in the planning stages of this here webby comic. And then, I remembered my biggest source of inspiration: my trampoline.

 Here it is!

 



So, a little backstory on my trampoline: this was one of my best friends growing up. I have a lot of good memories of me and my best friend on my trampoline, making up dance routines to song from Shrek and Comin' to America. So, naturally, when I needed to get to my fantasy world, my trampoline was my first go to place.

 

Nessa, in her natural habitat.

 



The trampoline I'm sitting on is actually the third in a line of trampolines I got within years of each other. I first broke our oldest trampoline after having it for about 13 years. We bought a cheap one at Wal-Mart to replace it. That was a mistake. The frame rusted and broke. Clearly, they hadn't counted on a serious jumper like myself. Truth is, I don't actually jump; I bounce. I walk around the edge, unconciously bouncing harder the more intense my thoughts get. So, my loving uncle who lives in Alabama donated his old, hexagon trampoline to our backyard! I was happy! This time, the frame couldn't rust away. But the springs and the thick thread binding them to the mat were weak. A whole side was missing its springs, but I still jumped on it anyways.

 

Me, contemplating life. Also, me without make-up. You guys should feel proud.

 

Finally, on my 16th birthday, I was graced with a brand new trampoline, sturdy frame, and nicely sewn mat. I had never been happier. Forget about driver's lisence, I could back to my fantasy world!

 

I have often considered my trampoline the portal to my fantasies. And if I could just jump high enough, I would slip between the barrier between this world and my own. But gravity always brought me back down, so I took another step, hoping this time, I'd break through. Being up at college, there is a severe lack of trampolines, and thus, a severe lack of me being in my own head. I can tap into my fantasy world pretty much anywhere, but the clarity is best when I'm on my trampoline.

 

I was trying to get one of me in mid-air, but, this works well, too..

 

 

I have enabled myself to be able to jump in almost any weather. That includes scorching hot summer afternoons, and, after clearing away the ice and snow, barefoot in winter. Why do I do this to myself? One, its excercise; two, I love it. I love my fantasy world. I love the connection and the freedom of thought that happens there. I don't know why it's here, and only here, that I'm able to think so fluidly. Maybe it's the perfect blend of motion and thought, simple enough that I can easily get lost in my thoughts, while still keeping somewhat grounded in reality.

 

This is how hard I am on my trampoline. :( I'm a trampoline killer.

 

As it's been four years, my trampoline has seen better days. As from the picture above, you can tell that the mat is slowly being ripped away from the edge. And...

 

The first spring is gone.. I still have it somewhere

 

Yeah, my trampoline is a little worse for wear. Funny story, actually, last year, on December first, there was a huge windstorm in my hometown. The one thing I was worried about was my trampoline. Had it flown into someone's house? My house? Was it lost, and ruined beyond all repair? Nope, it was all safe. And that was a huge relief to me. Never mind that our siding got ripped off like a sardine tin, my trampoline was safe.

 

See those black marks on my toes? That's a sign of a good jump.

 







So, I want to know, readers, what's your inspiration spot? Where do you go to get that access to your mind? What's your mind-portal?

An Introduction to my World

Seeing as I'm about to drop kick you into a universe I created back when I was six or seven, I should probably explain it a little bit.

Ultimately, it was born of a dream I had after playing Smash Bros. All  I remember was Link and Kirby working out together. That was it. But that lone idea grew into something I wasn't expecting. I began chosing characters from my favorite games and cartoons that I watched while growing up. Eventually, a solid cast was formed, and the adventures began. Initially, it started out as a super hero training place where I was the head of a newly formed league of super heroes...or rather, the head of my ragtag bunch of people from different universes. As each individual universe revealed more plot details for me, I would take that and apply it in new adventure.

Eventually, I slowly lost this world, as I started to create my own universe with my own characters. It wasn't until Brawl came about, (as I said before) that I found that world again. My fan-universe and my own, personally created universe were able to coexist side by side now, though I definitley made up for lost time with my fan-universe.

Instead of being captain of a newly formed "super squad," I was now a fairy, though I still have no idea when or why I settled on this to be my avatar in my fan-universe. Maybe it had something to do with me sporadically popping in on my characters, and that attitude fit a fairy more than a stern captain. Maybe it had to do with my maturity (or lack thereof). Either way, my universe stuck, and it slowly found its way into my notebooks....

Still on a High

Yeah, sorry about that....I'm on a high still. More importantly...I OWN THIS MUSIC NOW!

Anyways, I'm still kind of reeling from last Thursday, and it's in all the good ways. Watching her...well, you guys already know how impressed I am with her.

So, I'm starting a new project. For years, I've had my own little nerdy universe that has accompanied me ever since my sophomore year in high school. There have been plot twists, randomness, and generally good times all around. And now...I'm finally getting brave enough to start chronicling these adventures.

Right now, I still have to design characters in my new form of drawing (you all saw my stick figure people. That's not gonna work for a serious comic), and then I have to draw everyone multiple times so that the design sticks. Yay.

But I'm excited to do this, mostly because I'm going after something I want. And I'm telling my stupid, nagging voice to shut up and go to her room because I'm the one in charge here. It's exciting to finally be able to tell her to shut up. I'm not sure where or when I'll be posting this thing, but I'll definitley share my works in progress with you guys. Which means....I want feedback. Please understand that I'm still starting out, so things won't be quite as good as they one day will be. You are, however, free to comment on how it looks and potentially what the plot is going to be.

This is gonna be fun.

Meeting My Idol

It was any other Thurdsay for most everyone else. But not for me. For me, it was a day that I had dreamed about, something that would occur in the far distant future, not something that would occur mere months after I had gotten that desire. I was about to meet a person I knew only through Youtube and Facebook, a girl whose music inspired me to go out and try to do things: I was going to meet Lindsey Stirling.

We had to check in at 3:30 to get our VIP passes to meet her. This meant I had to skip class. And I mean, legitimately skip class. So after my first class of the day, I beelined it back to my apartment, grabbed a few things that I would need, and headed down for home.

A blissfully uneventful drive later, I hurried into my house, dropping off everything that I didn't need and hurried into my dad's car. Another successfully uneventful drive, and we arrived in darker part of Salt Lake. It wasn't as polished or refined as the inner city, and most every other building around us was abandoned, or had broken windows around. We also were buy the central hub for the busses and TRAX stations. We got in a line full of people, and it surprised me to see that I wasn't the only Lindsey Stirling fan here. I knew Lindsey had tons of other fans, but I had always seen Lindsey through my screen, usually alone. Now I was in a line with a bunch of other people who loved her just as much as I did.

Yeah, I was excited.

We went over to Gateway for a quick lunch/dinner/food trip before heading back over for the Meet and Greet. The line wasn't too long, but every step closer to the door I got more excited. She was in there. She would see me. I would see her.

Agh! I'm going to meet her!

And then, my dad shuffled me around and then...I saw her. Judging from how far away we were, and how I could spy her signature Peacock hairstyle just barely above/around the raised flooring, it hit me that she wasn't very tall. Score another 10 points on the awesome scale.

We were given our neon orange writst bands and I headed straight for the merchandise. I knew exactly what I wanted. Her album, and a pretty awesome poster of her in her Zelda costume, which was the first song I ever heard from her. Then we got in line to have our pictures with Lindsey.

I could feel the butterflies in my stomach, and I just wanted to run around screaming, "OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH! I'M MEETING LINDSEY STIRLING!" Instead, I got brave and asked a few girls ahead of me how/when they first found Lindsey. Most everyone I talked to were musicians in some way, and then there was me who just loves Lindsey.

Then, the moment arrived. After talking with her keyboardist, (which helped me calm my brain so I wouldn't spout out stupid half-sentences) we walked up to Lindsey.

She gave me a hug. And in a geinuely sweet voice said, "Hi!" while hugging me.

That was more than I ever dreamed would happen. We didn't even know each other, and she was still hugging me like I was her best friend.

Yeah, we're the same height. Short people unite!

 

Finally, it was time for the concert to begin. The opening act cleared out, the audience began chanting, "Lindsey! Lindsey" at every available moment. When the background music finally became muted, everyone knew it was time. She appeared onstage, like a little musical nymph, and began dancing and playing her violin, just like in her videos.

But it was different than watching her through a screen.

While her smile and general demeanor shows that she's having a grand time in her videos, in person, she radiates this joy. In every action that she does, you can feel her passion for this. I didn't want to yell and cheer.It almost felt irreverant to do so, even though everyone around me was doing the same.  I just wanted to watch her play. I could have done that for hours, because she loves what she does. And to see her, in person, doing exactly that, it made me want to do the same.

So today, I'm feeling inspired. I have a sudden burning inside me to go get what I want. And who cares what everyone else says or thinks? I have that inner spark to go and do, to prove those naysayers wrong, even if it's only me. If she can achieve her dream, then I can sure as heck get mine.

Thanks, Lindsey, for being an inspiration for so many people. Mostly to me, because I one day hope to do the same.

Squeee!!

Squee refers to the noise a fangirl make when she's in close proximity to something cute or something that she's a fan of. In this case....

I'M GOING TO MEET LINDSEY STIRLING!

Tomorrow night, she's going to have a concert in Salt Lake. My dad bought tickets for the show when he asked me, "Do you want to meet her?"

Ever since I discovered her, it's been my dream to meet her. But my brain suddenly went into overdrive, thinking of all the stupid things I could potentially say, embarrassing myself in front of my idol. After all, she's amazing! I told my dad I needed to think about it, essentially confirming my denial of having a meet-n-greet session with an artist I admire.

But my brain wasn't done thinking yet. It told me, "When you tell your kids that you had a chance to meet Lindsey Stirling, and you say you wussed out, what are they gonna think?" That thought alone spurred me to wonder, "What am I gonna think?" Instantly, I felt regret. Regret that I had a chance to meet with a person who inspires me to go out and get my dream. Regret that, in a moment that probably is once in a lifetime, I turned it down because I was afraid of looking stupid.

I texted my dad back, saying "Let's do it." After that, I had a silent fit of screaming with joy. I began to dance around, the realization that I was going to meet my idol sinking in.

Now that I'm a day away from the big event, it's even more present. What makes it better is that my 9:30 class isn't being held on Friday, which means I can spend the night at my house and drive back to Logan safely without fear of me nodding off on the side of the road.

It's meant to be.

Friday I'll be fangirling like crazy. :)

I have no idea right now

Hmm...I'm not sure what music to share with you all today. I'm not normally at a loss of ideas, but I feel like now that I've divluged my secrets about being a nerd girl, I don't know where to take this. Should I talk about what I'm looking forward to most, nerd-wise? Should I start blogging about me and my drawing, showing you all my works in progress? I feel like I was following Google directions and now I've run into somewhere GoogleMaps doesn't cover. I don't know where to take this right now. To my lurking followers out there (I know you're out there), what would you like to see more of? Talk to me people! I need your sagely advice! Or at least feedback. Talk to me! Seriously, don't pull a Link/Mario where I have to select Yes or No and never hear your voices. Speak to me!

Bleeeehhhh

This is gonna be short because I'm tired, and I'm home for the weekend.  So, you kinda now know my whole backstory of how I became a nerd. This is kinda weird for me because normally I can't shut up about stuff. And here I am, 11:07 on a Friday night and I'm ready to drop down dead and sleep until noon tomorrow. Except then I would miss Saturday Morning cartoons...except those suck nowadays. It's either the fifty-billionth incarnation of the Power Rangers, or cheap Pokemon/Yu-gi-oh!/really crappy quality cartoons that just make me cringe. Whatever happened to shows with actual plots? To traditional, handdrawn stuff? To shows that actually made you laugh? To shows that made you want to pull a Calvin and Hobbes and race downstairs at six in the morning so you could spend the whole day watching cartoons?

I think the problem is that there's not anyone seriously geared towards making good quality shows anymore. All they have to have is a basic, I'm sorry, stupid, plot, throw a few potty jokes here and there, make all the characters act like brain dead morons and voila! We have most of the cartoons on nowadays.

This is part of why I became a Brony/Pegasister. Because the show was well written, and the characters weren't stupid. They were actually pretty smart, and more importantly, the lessons they learned in every episode weren't forgotten by the next one. It makes me miss the 90's, when most of the cartoons were very character driven, and people weren't worried about kids being scarred or offended (that should read, the parents of children). I mean, don't they realize teenagers watch Saturday Morning cartoons too? That girls watch cartoons too?
*incoming soapbox feminist rant*
Most cartoons are geared towards boys. Not saying that girls can't like boys' cartoons, but I miss the days of the Powerpuff Girls. I miss girl leads. I miss smart, witty humor that the 90's shows had. I'm sick of this brain dead stuff that people seem to think children like.

I recall one cartoon where, after explaining how there's a multiverse and there's a bunch of bad guys trying to take over the world (what else is new?) the ONLY girl character replied, "Tyrants must be stopped." Excuse me for a second while I blow out my brains. So, after hearing from one of your guy friends that there's trouble in another universe that you haven't seen at all, you automatically agree to join this guy on his quest? Where's the skepticism? What is spurring you to say this? AGh!

This is the problem with being a writer: you analyze other characters because they're not acting the way you want them too.

Why I Hate Being a Girl Sometimes

"Video games are such a waste of time."

One of my biggest pet peeves among other non-nerd girls is when they pipe up on how horrible video games are, as if they're this Satanic thing that crawled out from under a rock and possessed their boyfriends. What makes it worse is how other girls agree instantly, as if video games are a fashion choice or someone to be excluded from the group.

Really? You're gonna call out video games when you spend hours on Pinterest, read overcliched vampire romance books, and watch television with little to no plot except for how Mary-Sue is gonna avoid getting caught cheating with Tall-Dark-and-Handsome? You're gonna call that something worthwhile, while my getting inspired to become greater than I am is a waste of time?

Video games are only a waste of time if that's all they do. If they never bother to socialize or do anything besides game, then it's a problem. But if it's just a hobby, there's nothing wrong with it. The same could be said of everyone's hobbies or passions. Smart people know there's a balance in all things. I have a personal rule: if it's games or socializing, socializing wins.

Hey, why don't you learn how to play video games? Then you and your boyfriend can do it together, and you'll be spending time. Besides, boys love to teach girls how to play. They think it's cute when you don't know what you're doing.

Me? I'm gonna go save the world. See you later.

My Life Needs a Soundtrack

Just thought I'd give you all something to listen to while reading today. Now I'm missing Pres and my Skyward Sword...

Anyways, I find it interesting in movies how there's almost always music playing, just to underscore the emotions that the scene is portraying. Whether it's a break-up scene, a reunion scene, an epic battle sequence, the music really helps push that theme through. So I was thinking, why doesn't life have that? A soundtrack so people know we're feeling epic or scared or heartbroken.

Wait, that would be a bad thing. Then we'd be overwhelmed by everyone's soundtracks and we'd never be able to listen to one another. Guess it's a good thing we don't have a personal orchestra trailing us.

Also, whenever the music gets amped up in a scary part of the movie, I know that the second the music calms down, the scary monster is gonna leap from the shadows and scare the pants off everyone. Seriously, watch any scary movie where the music builds up. 9 times out of ten, the scary part will happen AFTER the music has calmed down. Just a fun fact I noticed.

Origins Part 4: The Other Half of the Elephant

Where were we? Oh yes, the trailer for Brawl. Needless to say, the first time I saw that, I felt shivers down my spine from the theme music, and the way each character was animated...it filled me with that longing again, that longing that I  needed to have it. I became obsessed.

Everyday after school, I'd rush over to the computer to the Smash Bros. Dojo, the official game page, and see what new updates were added. Sometimes, it was just an item that you would be able to use in the game. Other times, it was a new stage you'd be Brawling on. My favorite updates were the ones concerning the games single player mode, The Subspace Emissary.

Ever since I had been little, I'd always been combining my favorite TV show universes into one mega-verse where they became super heroes and had to save the day from the neverending supply of villains. Subspace Emissary was exactly what I daydreamed: A bunch of universes crossing over into one, and all the heroes teaming up against an ultimate evil. Every cutscene I'd watch I kept getting more and more excited. The graphics were beautiful, and I felt like if I just went one step closer, I'd be in this fantastical world.

This is what I did when the game got its release date. I did this over the course of a month, and then later, after Brawl came out, I colored it. Not my best work, but I was still just staring out.

 



I remember the day I got Brawl. I had gone to school, Monday, thinking about how badly I wanted Brawl now that it was out. I went home while my parents went to Wal-Mart. My dad called me later, telling me that there was one more copy of Brawl left. I told him to get it while I rushed to finish my math homework. I couldn't believe it. The universe I had been checking up on constantly for over a year was finally about to be mine.

 

It was around this time my mother was doing very well. I thought that cancer was now over, and I would never have to deal with it ever again. Well, I was wrong. Later in the year, she discovered it had come back, only not in her brain, but it began to show up in other places in her body. She had to go to Las Vegas to receive a special kind of chemotherapy that took a week to endure. For me, that meant a week with my sister.

 

Now, I love my sister. She is amazing. But this is when my world got very dark. I felt like no one cared about me. I didn't matter in the slightest. The only person that mattered was my mom, because she was sick. No one knew how badly I was hurting. I felt alone and I felt unimportant. I just wanted friends I could trust. My sister didn't like Smash Bros, so I had to turn to Mario Kart when I stayed with her. That was fine with me. I got good at Mario Kart. My favorite part was if I wasn't going to win first place, I could quit and start over again. You can't do that in real life.

 

I did get lucky, though, and I found friends that I felt safe and at home with. They gave me hope, they got me out of the house, and they helped me to keep from becoming one of those video game nerds who live in their parents' basement and never see the light of day. Ironic right? How I became less of a nerd while becoming more of a nerd. Mostly because most of my friends are just as nerdy as me. Granted, I'm probably the most versed in video games among my friends, but that's okay. You gotta have the nerdy one, right?

But this nerdy one held a secret: her mother was dying. And try as she might, she couldn't ignore it forever. And eventually, her worst fear became realized on July 25, 2010. In a way, my mother's death was a blessing. She had been suffering for almost three years, and towards the end, I could see in her eyes that she was tired of fighting. That she wanted to just be done with this.

So there's the elephant. Video games became my escape and my therapy. They inspired me to keep going on, to just take one more day. Now, of course, I consider many of the characters my friends, albeit my imaginary ones. They have been with me since the beginning of this whole ordeal, and I doubt I would have gotten through it without them.

They kept me from find other means of escape: drugs, alcohol, self-harm. I could have easily found relief in those things, and, I might not even be here if it wasn't for my video game friends. I'd rather be addicted to something that inspires me to keep going on than to be addited to something that's slowly killing me.

To me, video games aren't just a hobby, they're my personal life saver. And I'm not about to give them up any time soon.

Edit: Sorry this one took so long to post. I had a hard time admitting the elephant in the room. But I admitted it now, so...yeah, we can move on